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Helen Croydon, author of controversial tell-all book The Sugar Daddy Diaries, has gone undercover to ascertain exactly why men stray from long-term relationships – and to lift the lid on how to prevent it.

Helen Croydon undertook the project as research for her new book, F The Fairytale, in which she explores modern models of relationships as alternatives to marriage.

She worked along with adult lifestyle website Bondara to discover why men stray from long term relationships and reveal how to deal with it.

The author says: “While researching my next book I spoke to hundreds of men and women about their relationship blips, successes, affairs or their choices not to commit at all.

“I’ve targeted men on the UK’s largest cheating website, maritalaffair.co.uk and even been undercover on that and so-called sugar daddy websites to get to grips with common male motivations for straying.”

Helen Croydon found that sexual dissatisfaction was the most common “complaint” cited by men as a reason to stray, with men saying things like, “the physical side has faded”, or “our sex has become routine”.

In this case Helen Croydon advises you need to make time for sex – and the more you orgasm, the more you’ll want to.

The sexpert also says if you have relationship problems – another big reason men cheat – try counseling before splitting.

Here are some of Helen Croydon’s findings:
1. Feeling surplus to needs
Common amongst new fathers and the partner of someone with a demanding job. The less busy partner feels unneeded.

Think bored housewife and a husband who doesn’t even notice when she gets a haircut. Or the hard-working husband whose weekend is filled with nothing but more chores.

These types complained that their relationship had become functional. They craved the freshness of new romance and went elsewhere to find it.

What to do:

Relationships should make us feel loved and energized otherwise we’re better off alone. So make your partner feel that way. Stop keeping tabs on who’s done what. In the long run it doesn’t matter.

Take time every day to talk and listen to each other – even if it’s just for 15 minutes over dinner or while you have pre-bedtime cup of cocoa.

Helen Croydon, author of controversial tell-all book The Sugar Daddy Diaries, has gone undercover to ascertain exactly why men stray from long-term relationships

Helen Croydon, author of controversial tell-all book The Sugar Daddy Diaries, has gone undercover to ascertain exactly why men stray from long-term relationships

2. In love but lacking romance

I was surprised by how many men said they loved their wives deeply and were not looking to end their marriage, but wanted ‘something extra’.

Not necessarily sex but the romance – dinners and dates.

Many expressed they wanted to “feel like they looked forward to seeing someone again”.

What to do:

Sadly familiarity can cancel out passion even though familiarity is what we all want from a relationship.

It’s easy to steer your relationship away from dreary domesticity though and become fascinated in each other again.

3. Partner health issues
When one partner has health problems which limit their sexual life, the other partner may consider this as an amnesty on fidelity.

Any previous guilt is removed by the fact that their partner can no longer fulfill roles in the relationship that they once could.

I met several men who claimed their wives had consented to them seeking sexual – but not emotional – fulfillment outside of marriage.

What to do:

Consent is key here. Just because you think you’re not cheating, doesn’t mean your partner wouldn’t feel cheated.

There’s nothing wrong with a negotiated open relationship but for those that can’t handle the thought of that, you’ll have to address the sex imbalance some other way.

4. The “one last time” syndrome
Common amongst men and women who are about to get married or make a similar commitment.

They feel they can hold onto their previous identity with one last experience of their old life. They mistakenly believe that one final memory will sustain them for years ahead of “being good”.

What to do:

This is just a fantasy. “One last time” won’t make them feel any more experienced than they already felt when they committed.

If you suspect your partner is daunted by the idea of long-term sexual fidelity, embrace their sexual appetite rather than try to repress it.

Encourage them to talk about things they would like to try and to share their fantasies so they feel you will help them fulfill them rather than hanker them.

Why not organize a naughty weekend away with sexy lingerie and some fun masks and ropes and pretend you’ve just met. Even if it’s just ten minutes from home.

5. Opportunism
Thankfully more rare than people may think. A man or a woman is out of town and a new, exciting and novel experience comes up and they think “no one will ever know”.

It does happen but not often.

To act on a fantasy usually requires mental preparation and lots of suppression of guilt so it’s unlikely a quick chat on a bar stool in a strange hotel will make someone jump into bed.

In my experience, people who stray on a whim have done it before or already given it some thought.

What to do:

It’s easier to say what not to do. Don’t keep tabs on your partner. Don’t be controlling or demand they phone.

Too much control only makes someone want to break free. Trust builds respect and there’s no better defence to cheating than respect.

Rumours have been spread last night that Johnny Depp’s 14-year relationship with French singer and actress Vanessa Paradis is on the rocks.

Johnny Depp, 48, is on the brink of a split because of the couple’s constant bickering, according to a report in the US.

A source told the RadarOnline: “People around him are worried about how Johnny is doing because he and Vanessa seem so fractured right now.”

RadarOnline report appears to contradict Johnny Depp’s claims in interviews about his enduring love for Vanessa Paradis, 39, the mother of his children, Lily-Rose, 12, and Jack, 9.

The website quoted a source close to the actor as saying: “Johnny isn’t handling anything well right now.”

Rumours have been spread last night that Johnny Depp’s 14-year relationship with French singer and actress Vanessa Paradis is on the rocks

Rumours have been spread last night that Johnny Depp’s 14-year relationship with French singer and actress Vanessa Paradis is on the rocks

RadarOnline also suggested Johnny Depp is seeking legal advice over the alleged unravelling of the 14-year relationship.

“Johnny has started reaching out to lawyers, probably to quietly discuss how to get out of the relationship.

“They’re not married but they’ve been together for years and have kids together so it isn’t as easy as just breaking up.

“Johnny is so talented at acting, but he doesn’t seem able to hide how badly things are going right now,” the unnamed source added.

There were claims of problems in the relationship last April when a French magazine splashed a photo on its front page of Johnny Depp appearing to kiss another woman.

The woman turned out to be the actor’s publicist Robin Baum who reportedly attended the unveiling of Penelope Cruz’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with Johnny Depp while Vanessa Paradis was at home in France with their children.

At the time, Voici magazine wrote: “Are Johnny and Vanessa heading for a split?”

“Whenever Johnny and Vanessa are rumored to be having relationship problems, it’s Robin who as his press officer has to deny them.

“This woman is dangerous.”

France’s 24heuresactu website said: “Is Johnny cheating on Vanessa and splitting up one of the world’s best-known celebrity couples?”

Johnny Depp was most recently spotted on New Year’s Eve in Los Angeles with Vanessa Paradis, their two children and a woman believed to be his mother, Betty Sue.

The actor was married briefly in the early Eighties to make-up artist Lori Anne Allison before his high-profile romances with actress Winona Ryder and supermodel Kate Moss.

Johnny Depp has been with Vanessa Paradis since 1998, when they met on the set of the Roman Polanski thriller, The Ninth Gate.

Speaking about their first meeting in an interview last year, Johnny Depp said: “She was wearing a dress with an exposed back and I saw that back and that neck, and then she turned around and I saw those eyes, and – boom! – my life as a single man was done.

“You have this feeling,” Johnny Depp added. “I can’t really explain what it was, but I had it when I met her.

“I saw her across a room and thought: <<What’s happening to me?>>”

Johnny Depp said the couple hadn’t seen the need for marriage.

“I never found myself needing that piece of paper. Marriage is really from soul to soul, heart to heart.

“You don’t need somebody to say: <<OK, you’re married>>.

“She and I have been together for nearly 14 years, and, well, I can hardly believe it.

“It only seems like yesterday that we met.”

Of his own parents’ broken marriage, Johnny Depp said: “I recall hearing my parents argue and thinking: <<Come on, this is torture. Just split!>>

“They stuck it out until I was 15, but I’d seen it coming for years. When they finally did divorce, I thought: <<OK, this is the right thing>>.”

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis split their time between their home in Meudon in the Paris suburbs, Los Angeles, Le Plan-de-la-Tour in the south of France and an island in the Bahamas.