The relationship started out with excitement and love. Everything seemed perfect, and getting married or moving in together was the logical next step. Living together went well for a time and then the trouble started. It was little things at first, and then the situation became more and more abusive. What do you do if you love a person who is toxic for you?
How Do You Know If You Are In An Abusive Relationship?
When a person sees their relationship taking an uncomfortable turn, they may think it is them. But some signs point to your partner being an abusive person victimizing you. It is not always easy to spot the signs. If these signs exist, beware.
1. After being rushed to move in together or get married, the other person becomes overly demanding and has unrealistic expectations. This may include being lavished with expensive gifts.
2. The partner quickly becomes jealous and easily insulted. They over-react to the slightest criticism or if you disagree with them. You may find yourself being careful of what you say to avoid making your partner angry or insulted. These abusers can have short tempers and be abusive to strangers.
3. Another really troublesome sign is a partner making an effort to separate you from close friends or family members. This imposed isolation is not healthy. The partner may criticize or question friends. Then they may make other people unwelcome. They may be jealous of time spent with other people or friends’ nights out.
If you are experiencing a growing pattern of these troubling behaviours or If you are becoming unhappy and even afraid of your partner, it may be time to think about leaving.
Letting Go of Toxic Relationships and Moving On
When you make the decision to leave the relationship, do it safely. If you are in a marriage, get legal help in obtaining a divorce. Hire an attorney to represent you and your interests. If there are children, a lawyer can help you retain custody and get a fair child support ruling.
After a divorce, there is a chance to start a new life without the fear and abuse present in past marriage. You may even find a good person to love and establish a new family with. You may consider Step parent adoption. Once you are comfortable with the new marriage and the relationship between your children and the stepparent, adoption may be the next move.
Making Sure You Do Not Enter into Another Abusive Relationship
Once you have freed yourself from an abusive relationship, healing can begin. It may take a while to consider dating or seeking romance again. But, we all are drawn to seek companionship. There are many good people in the world. The important thing is to learn the difference between a healthy relationship and an abusive or unhealthy relationship.
When you meet a new love interest, pay attention to the relationship. Look for the warning signs before getting too involved. Dating abuse signs include possessiveness, early pressure to have sex, jealousy and insecurity, quick temper, checking up on your cell phone or social network without permission, or a pattern of put-downs or belittling. Other signs include false accusations, bossiness, mood swings, attempts to isolate you from friends and family, inflicting pain in any way, or rushing you to deepen the relationship before you are ready.
Some people find counselling after a break up helps them avoid future abusive relationships. You may want to go slow with romantic relationships, taking time to know the person very well before making any commitments for the future.