Becoming a mom is one of the most life-changing things to happen in a woman’s life. It’s one long journey. A journey of sleepless nights and milestones. The never ending questions and anxious feelings of failure. All mixed with having to lead the life you had before. But you’re different, you are not the same person anymore.
How could you be? Now you are not only responsible for yourself but a tiny baby that needs you more than you could ever know. To feed and care for them, to love them unconditionally. To bring them up the best way you can and keep them safe from all harm. You have no choice, and of course, you are happy to do it. You made the conscious decision to become a mom in the first place. But no one ever knows how much their lives will change when they welcome that precious bundle of joy.
A lot of women struggle with this. Few are aware that it’s all normal behavior. But as time goes on you realize you have lost a little bit of yourself. It’s difficult to understand where the baby ends and you as a person begins.
We lose our identity, some of us lose friends, we become isolated and desperate for a little bit of ourselves back.
It’s not all bad. Life as a mom can be fantastic, and witnessing your child grow up is an absolute honor.
But there are ways that you can have the best of both worlds. You can be mom but also have your own identity. Here’s how you can achieve just that.
Take some time for yourself
Me time is so important as a new mom. If you can get a family member to watch your little one for a while then fantastic, but if you are restricted on childcare don’t let that put you off. Make sure you take advantage of every baby free moment you have. When the baby has a nap, you get some rest yourself. When the baby is in bed at night, run yourself a nice hot bath and take some time for you.
Read a new book and drink a hot drink without being disturbed. Spend some time with your partner or friends. Do what you would have done for yourself before a baby because you still need that time to unwind. As much as we love being with our little ones, we also still have hobbies we enjoy or interests we want to pursue.
Find your new identity and embrace it.
Your figure may have changed. Maybe your have noticed that your style is a little different. Perhaps you have long hair but want to have a shorter style for convenience. Whatever it is about your identity embrace it and go with it. Love your new figure and rock it. You have just had a baby; you are amazing! If you want a new hairstyle, then go for it. If you are worried about your style and find yourself wearing the same things then now is the time to be experimental. Styled By marie claire could provide you with some inspiration and open up your mind to a whole new you. Fashion and beauty trends that you may not have considered before are now ready for the taking. Don’t let your own opinion of yourself hold you back, what you see in the mirror is definitely not what the world is seeing.
Be aware of your feelings
It’s an ordinary feeling to suffer from the baby blues. The majority of new moms will have a few tears here and there and be worried about how they are doing. But be aware of when it is something a bit more than just a little cry from time to time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. If you need someone to help around the house, ask someone. If you need to catch up on some sleep let your partner or family take over for a while and you get some rest.
There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help. It’s when new mom’s try to carry on that the problems can start.
Be aware of your limits
One thing you have to remember is you are not supermon. No one is. We all have our days when we feel like we are winning and we all have days when life can be too much. Accepting this and knowing your limits is one of the best pieces of advice you can follow.
Find your mom tribe
Being a mom can be lonely, so the sooner you can make some friends in a similar situation to yourself the better. Getting out into the park or attending a Gymboree class can help with your mood and feelings, as well as present you with opportunities to chat to other moms.
Once you have your tribe, make weekly arrangements. It will be the advice of these mom’s, their laughter and encouragement, and their confidence that will get you through some tough times. It’s also amazing to have someone there who can relate to how you feel. This will become invaluable to you.
Google is your friend and your foe
Don’t worry about little things and let google searching worry you. Google can have a vast amount of information, some of which won’t be relevant, so use it wisely and sparingly. The truth is you will know what to do as that motherly instinct you have heard so much about will kick in. It won’t be just you going through it. Someone somewhere will have been through exactly what you are going through. So don’t worry.
Being a mom is the most challenging thing you can do as a woman. But at the same time, it’s the most rewarding thing as well. It’s tough but amazing. Yes, embrace your new mom style, own your decisions and rock it. But most importantly enjoy every minute you have, because they really do grow up so quickly. They won’t be babies for long.