This week’s episode of Duck Dynasty was all about helping each other out.
“One of the many perks of being in the Robertson clan is that if you need help–all you gotta do is ask for it,” Jase Robertson explained of his brothers, Uncle Si and coworker John Godwin pitching in to assist in building a new fishing dock.
“It’s a great system, but like any other system – there can be people who will abuse it.”
Jase Robertson was not-so-subtly referring to Uncle Si, who preferred to “supervise” the boys from dry land during the dock installation – all while sipping on his ever-present sweet tea.
“What’s the point of having family and friends if you can’t ask them for help every once in a while?” asked Si Robertson, somewhat rhetorically.
“You’re always asking for favors, but you never help out with any favors,” groused Willie Robertson.
“I never ask for no favors,” declared John Godwin.
“Yes, you have,” protested Willie Robertson.
“I absolutely never ask for a favor,” returned John Godwin.
Back at Duck Commander Headquarters, John Godwin made a random announcement: “I’m gonna get me a hot tub.”
“A hot tub,” Jase Robertson said, with obvious disgust.
“No self-respecting man would have a hot tub.”
“I would,” said his brother Willie with a slight smile.
“That’s my point,” returned Jase Robertson.
“The man wants a hot tub, he should get a hot tub,” reasoned Willie Robertson.
Since it was clear that John Godwin had his heart set on a hot tub, Willie Robertson fired up his laptop and started to search for one online.
“There’s some cool ones – about six grand,” Willie Robertson tells John Godwin.
“What’s your budget?”
“All’s I can spend is two hundred bucks,” said John Godwin, flatly.
With such a limited budget, Willie Robertson suggested that John Godwin purchase a used hot tub. John Godwin was fine with that, as long as it had speakers.
One of the Robertson brothers did not approve of John Godwin getting any kind of hot tub – with or without speakers.
“I just want to say something on the record,” said Jase Robertson.
“I am in protest of this. This whole thing is a bad idea. You’re going to get the measles from it. Blisters, skin rashes or hepatitis.”
“When it comes to germs, Jase is a walking contradiction,” noted Willie Robertson.
“He has no problem crawling through swamps and other disgusting, stagnant bodies of water. But just the mention of a manmade place with clean, animal-free water is enough to send him on a rant for a week.”
After much discussion, Si Robertson suggested that only place that might have a hot tub within John Godwin’s budget would be a place called Squirrel’s–yes, Squirrel’s–Junkyard.
“That’s actually not a bad idea, because all he has is crap,” laughed Willie Robertson.
Meanwhile, Phil and Miss Kay Robertson have a few of the grandkids over for the afternoon, who arrive to the Robertson property “fresh from the subdivision.”
Phil Robertson is determined to teach his grandchildren “patience and resourcefulness” by gathering mayhaw berries and turning them into jelly.
“Food,” lectured Phil Robertson.
“What if everything goes south, there are no chicken nuggets, there’s no big, tall Coca-Colas and fries – what then?”
“We would survive like the walking dead,” answered Willie Robertson’s grandson, John Luke.
That did not satisfy Phil Robertson, and he set out to teach the kids the finer points of mayhaw harvesting.
Back at Squirrel’s Junkyard, the boys have found a budget-appropriate – if disgusting – hot tub for John Godwin. They tow it back to John Godwin’s house, where he insisted that it be installed in the front yard so that he can “watch the cars go by.”
“What are you, a dog?” asked Willie Robertson.
John Godwin stands firm, determined that they install the hot tub in the front yard. The boys struggle to unload the hot tub off the truck, and it crashes to the ground with a thud.
“This board broke,” said John Godwin.
“That’s just cosmetic,” reassured Willie Robertson.
“That’s right,” conceded John Godwin.
“I’ll get the wood glue.”
After the “cosmetic” damage is fixed, John Godwin climbs into the hot tub.
“In all the years I’ve known Godwin, I’ve never seen him this happy,” observed Willie Robertson.
“He’s happier than a pig in mud – which is actually a fitting comparison when you consider how disgusting that water probably is.”
At the family dinner, the Robertsons gave thanks, and Willie Robertson noted: “Sometimes doing a favor a friend can be quick and easy, other times it means you’ll be spending all day at a stinkin’ junkyard. The point is, you can’t pick and choose how you help somebody. You just help them because they’ve been there to help you.”