Saturday Night Live began their weekly show with the defeated Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney drowning his sorrows – with milk.
Jason Sudeikis reprised his role as Mitt Romney during the cold open, sneaking dairy products on the back of his expansive balcony.
“Darn it all to heck,” he began.
Numerous members of his family – including Kate McKinnon as his wife Ann and Taran Killam as his sons Tag, Matt, and Josh – came outside to try and comfort him, to no avail. Taran Killam as Tag said that his father’s loss made him want to “punch America in the face”.
SNL took it aim on the Republican presidential candidate, after he lost the Electoral College vote tally 332 to 206 in Tuesday’s election. In the skit, Mitt Romney’s family was throwing a dignified post-election soiree, but Jason Sudeikis had retired to the balcony to chug Vitamin D milk.
Mitt Romney himself was pictured with a gallon of chocolate milk following the disappointing loss.
Jason Sudeikis’ son, Taran Killam as Tag Romney, came out to ask what more he wanted to accomplish.
“I have so much I want to do,” Jason Sudeikis said.
“I want to find out how mayonnaise is made.”
After “cracking open” another carton of milk, Taran Killam as Matt comes out, begging his father to come into the house.
“Paul Ryan is doing feats of strength in the living room,” he said.
Jason Sudeikis responded with vitriol.
“I would’ve liked to see him carry Wisconsin.”
A concerned Taran Killam then asked: “Have you been drinking? You smell like a dairy.”
Jason Sudeikis offers his son a drink, but Taran Killam sounds horrified.
“I’m only 38!” he said.
A third son, Josh, tries to entice his father into the party.
“Donald Trump is doing a very amusing thing where he’s racist,” Taran Killam said.
But it’s not until Kate McKinnon comes out again that Jason Sudeikis really gets fired up. He kisses her on the lips, causing Kate McKinnon to say in shock: “My, oh my, what has gotten into you?”
Jason Sudeikis responds: “Oh, I don’t know, about 10 gallons of milk.”
On Weekend Update, Seth Meyers celebrated “four…more…years…of gridlock”, showing pictures of Republicans Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner.
Noting how the president won many unemployed and student voters, Seth Meyers noted: “Basically, Obama became president the same way Budweiser became the king of beer.”
Seth Meyers also commented on the David Petraeus scandal, noting the name of biographer Paula Broadwell’s biography on him, entitled All In.
“When they first started working on the book, it was called <<Just The Tip>>.”
Seth Meyers was joined by Jay Pharoah, playing the newly re-elected President Obama. Asked if he was surprised by the result, Jay Pharoah responded: “A little. Come on Republicans, what happened? This was yours to win!
“Five-dollar gas, eight percent unemployment, I even gave you a first-debate head start! and on top of that, I’m Black.”
But Jay Pharoah said that as a second-term president, he wasn’t going to concede to those who were against him.
“Look out!” he said.
“From here on out, we do it my way! Republicans don’t want to talk of immigration? Fine. Meanwhile, a gay Hispanic woman is born every 15 seconds.”
Speaking of what has traditionally been a bipartisan dead end between him and Boehner, he said: “Fine, you wanna be unreasonable, fine let’s be unreasonable. The military? Gone! If you want to go to war with Iran, you have to send in Ted Nugent.”
The “president” seemed to be energized, and kept bouncing his shoulders. When Meyers commented, Jay Pharoah responded: “Seth, I’m in a good place.
“I want to thank Mitt Romney. Governor, I admire your tenacity, even though watching you run for president was like watching someone in roller skates trying to climb stairs.”
Though he said he was glad for four more years in office, Jay Pharoah’s closing remarks were over how awful his job is.
“Mainly, this is a terrible job and I hate it,” he said.
Also appearing on Weekend Update were a gay couple from Maine, which just passed a gay marriage law, and a drunk uncle to talk about the election recount.
Anne Hathaway, who plays Fantine in the upcoming movie version of Les Miserables, hosted for a third time, and Rhiannon was the musical guest.